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Showing posts with label Video. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Video. Show all posts

The Dodge Tomahawk Concept Motorcycle


The Tomahawk is a Viper V-10 based motorcycle, a 500 horsepower engine with four wheels beneath it. The engine breathes through twin throttle bodies mounted right up front (the two round things above the front tires are). While the Tomahawk has the same number of tires as a car, it keeps the motorcycle form factor otherwise. This is no sedan...

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Chrysler sold nine replicas through Neiman Marcus, for $555,000 each. The motorcycles cannot be driven on public roads. A spokesman told Reuters they were meant as rolling sculptures, presumably to avoid legal liability. They are driveable - just not (legally) on public roads. The Tomahawk concept is an awesome-sounding machine; we saw it started and revved. Clouds of blue smoke vied for attention with the throaty rumble of the mighty V-10, and hitting the gas visibly opened the twin throttle body blades up front where the headlight would normally be. Though deeper and more rumbling than most motorcycles, it did not seem to be louder overall - just deeper, with no shrill overtones.

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Wolfgang Bernhard, Chrysler's first mate at the time, was said to be enthusiastic about that project, so much so that hundreds were projected to be built at under $200,000 each (probably below breakeven). They reportedly cost Chrysler over $100,000 to build (the work is outsourced), not including engineering costs. The Dodge Tomahawk can reach 60 miles an hour in about 2.5 seconds, and has a theoretical top speed of nearly 400 mph. Each pair of wheels is separated by a few inches and each wheel has an independent suspension. Bernhard said four wheels were necessary to handle the power from the engine.

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The Fresh Prince Of The Dark Side

Before you watch this video, I thought I should warn you that potential side effects of watching it may Include flacid vomiting, hair loss, extremely soupy diarrhea, dry mouth, painful rectal itch, dementia, instantaneous death, halitosis, 7-month mental retardation, sleep loss, internal combustion, a sudden craving to sniff your carpet, an addiction to Windex, bone weakening, claustrophobia, the sudden urge to play Everquest II, the ability to make Jesus cry, the inability to use proper english in an online environment, temporary herpes, an urge to stab your gerbil, the inability to breathe oxygen, the urge to watch the Chinese version of Friends, migraines, diabetes, deafness, and of course, the ability to channel the dead spirit of John Holmes. Don't worry though, this only happens if you watch it while you're wearing your underwear as a mask.

The Master Of The Sword

One of the most important parts of my job is to name any potential internet video celebrities in the event that they become famous. Right now I'm leaning towards naming this kid "Sword Boy" but I also think "Sword Kid" has a nice ring to it. "Fat Mullet Sword Child" is clearly too mean spirited and "The Chubby Short Bus Kid Who Practices Sword Play In His Backyard" is way too long and would never catch on. That is why I'm going to name this poor bastard "Retarded Sword Boy" and I just realized I haven't eaten Hostess Cup Cakes in a long time.


The 100 Cheesiest Movie Quotes Of All Time

Men primarily speak and communicate with each other these days through movie quotes. It's the easiest way to communicate their basic urges, thoughts and needs without exerting a lot of higher brain function. The movies most commonly quoted include Dumb & Dumber, Friday, Tommy Boy, Goodfellas, The Big Lebowski, the Star Wars Trilogy, Anchorman, Grandma's Boy, The 40-Year Old Virgin, Scarface, Borat, Point Break, Wedding Crashers, The Karate Kid and Sleepless in Seattle. Wait, I didn't mean to say Sleepless in Seattle, I've never seen that movie in my life. Sh*t!


Mr. Lonely Dog

A lot of people don't know that the creature with the highest output of farts on this planet is actually the lowly termite. Apparently their digestive process and diet makes them fart all the time which means there are tons of farting termites surrounding you and your loved ones at any given moment. Now I'm not a doctor, but I believe this also means that the best way to improve your farting skills is to buy a bunch of firewood and eat it.

Laughter Is The Best Medicine

Apparently laughing 100 times is the equivalent of 15 minutes of aerobic exercise. Laughter can also cut down stress, fight infections, and reduce chronic pain. The scary part is that scientists somehow estimate that humans used to laugh 20 minutes out of every day in the 1950’s and now we laugh only for 6 minutes out of every day. This is why I believe the FBI's top prority shoule be to assasinate George Lopez, Dane Cook, Carrot Top, Jay Leno, Bill Engvall, Tyler Perry, Sarah Silverman, Jimmy Fallon, Carlos Mencia and Kathy Griffin over the next 30 days before they kill us all.


Australian News Wii Curling Fail

The Nintendo Wii was a nice technological step in the evolution of video games, but it will be long forgotten once Microsoft releases the world's first 3D game system with sex controllers. The Xbox 69 will come with a minature sybian controller for women and a fleshlight controller for men and its first hit game "Super Maria Sisters" will let gamers face off against their favorite adult movie stars. Sure it means the end of socializing in America as we know it, but were people really all that interesting to begin with?



Jay Leno Is An A-Hole

Boring Americans over the age of 55 who only do it in the missionary position are rejoicing tonight as undisputed "King of Unfunny," Jay Leno returns to The Tonight Show. Once again, these miserable bastards can enjoy laughing at jokes that aren't funny while they eat ham & cheddar Hot Pockets and complain about their severe case of assne that won't go away. It kind of makes you wonder what we're all fighting for.


Conan O'Brien Celebrates St. Patrick's Day... In Chinatown

I think we should all take a moment this St. Patrick's Day to honor the only Irish person that matters on this planet besides Jason Preistley, Conan O'Brien. Since we're all currently suffering through the Leno, Fallon and Letterman late night lack of laughter, I thought it was only fitting to reflect on a time when Coco had a show show. And if you're desperate for green beer tonight, don't resort to adding green food coloring to regular beer. It tastes horrible and you end up pooping a bunch of tiny green children the next day.


Burrito, The Golfing Dog

Some people feel safer when they have a gun under the pillow at night and I think those people are crazy. The best way to protect yourself is to always have a burrito under your pillow. If you ever get robbed, all you have to do is offer the robber your delicious bean and cheese burrito and they'll gladly leave in peace. I think you'll also find it to be the ultimate cure for insomnia because there's nothing more relaxing than the smell of a warm burrito.


Lion King Toy Fail

So I just learned that the New York Times is reporting that almost half of our nation's sewage systems are currently dumping "human excrement and dangerous industrial chemicals" into our rivers and lakes which is where most of our drinking water comes from. This means that a good portion of the water we drink, including bottled water, contains some form of human poo. Now I don't know about you, but I'm going to drink nothing but blue energy drinks for the next month or so because I believe they're the only liquid substances more lethal than poo water.



Ladies Love Rancher's Choice

Another toilet invention I've been thinking about lately is a toilet meter that rates your dumps on a scale of 1-10. Sometimes going to the bathroom is hard work and I think it'd be nice to be rewarded for some of your best performances. The best part is about it is that if your dump scores a 5-7 the toilet dispenses a delicious cup of French roast coffee and if you manage an 8-10 the toilet rewards you with several Arby's coupons.


Rolled-Up Magazine Self Defense

Every time I receive a magazine in the mail these days, I'm not sure what to do with it unless it's the SI swimsuit issue or Playboy. Every time I think about opening a magazine, I realize that it's a big commitment. Not only do you have to open it, but you have to flip through pages, read words that form into sentences and you have to hold it up for extended periods of which can be exhausting. This is why I save all of my magazines and use them for wrapping paper. You'd be surprised how much cooler your gift is if it's wrapped in a Playboy centerfold swimsuit model photo.



Baby Hates Miley Cyrus, Loves Bon Jovi

Every time you listen to a Bon Jovi song it's like taking a bath in a giant tub filled with butter and awesome sauce. Awesome sauce is magical energy source that surrounds us and binds us just like The Force except it makes you awesome instead of a lonely hermit that fights intergalatic crime with a magic laser sword. The only downside of listening to Bon Jovi all the time is that it makes you want to punch farm animals in the face, but if you think about it, those lazy bastards kind of deserve it.

The Difference Between Men And Women... Explained By Babies

Girls tend to develop right or "verbal" side of brain faster than boys which leads to talking, more talking and excessive nagging. Boys on the other hand develop left side faster than girls which leads to visual and perceptual skills like staring at boobs, staring at legs and staring at butts. This difference explains why men are generally stronger with left-brain activities and approach problem-solving from a task-oriented perspective while women typically solve problems more annoyingly and are more aware of feelings while communicating. And this is precisely why more men are starting to pee sitting down these days.


Jim Lampley Loves To BANG!

If you watched the Manny Paquiao vs. Joshua Clottey fight on Saturday then you were treated to one of the greatest moments in boxing announcer history. Even though it didn't involve the always popular completely plastered Larry Merchant, the legendary Jim Lampley decided to start yelling "bang" near the end of the 8th round every time Manny Paquiao threw a punch. It immortalized one of the most boring boxing matches in recent memory and I believe every announcer must yell "bang" every time a boxer throws a punch from this point forward to make boxing popular again.


News Anchor Fall Down Go Boom

The faceplant is basically the falling equivalent of dropping your pants in front of a large group of people. It's a full on gravity smackdown and and that moment where your legs and feet lose all communication with the mother ship portion of your brain. Fortunately, most people have unattractive faces so they really aren't that tragic if you really think about it.


Fireball Tennis


So there it is, we decided to film a game of America's REAL past time... Lighting things on fire.

This video was featured on Keith Olbermann's Oddball segment on Decemeber 2nd, proving that America has lost it's mind.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3036677/#28023850